Kiss My CL(ASS): Demanding Respect

Hey babies! It finally happened; I finally let go of that fear of getting mugged in these NY streets, packed up my tripod and my camera and ventured the city! That was definitely a huge step for me; I've been making many strides since being here, one of which is giving those who take me for granted; my clASS to kiss.

Often times, when you go to new places there will be people who will take advantage of you because they assume you're in a new setting; therefore you need them and you're probably desperate. Since being here an "opportunity" presented itself to me and to make a long story short the person that presented it to me felt they could take advantage of me, my time and my work ethic. This is not a space for pettiness (because i can bee very petty); this is a space for growth. I am growing and a year ago I would've dished all the deets, names, etc. but God is making progress with me, so I will instead use this experience to tell you how not to be taken advantage of.

Two Can Play That Game: On your career path you will often cross paths with opportunists and if you're trying to get your foot in the door you will definitely come in contact with pompous, condescending and arrogant personalities. Use these nuances as a test; here's how you pass.

Play along- Sometimes you have to step back to realize an opportunist is being just that. Once you peep they only contact you in search of a come-up and they don't VOLUNTARILY reciprocate it...use them back! Don't take it personal, it's just business baby. Are you a model who peeps, up-and-coming photographer friends only hit your line to get shoots for their port? Well use them up too, get as many free photos for your portfolio as you can, but do it under your terms: your vision, your creative direction or no more favors...PERIOD.

Are you a newbie to a job or organization? Are you the youngest of your co-workers? Then I'm sure you've come across those higher-ups that doubt your abilities and forget to speak to you like a fellow adult. As tempting as it may be to hit them with the "I don't need this my husband got TWO JOBS," remember you're not Rochelle from Everybody Hate's Chris and more importantly you have bills to pay and a reputation to up keep. However, don't hesitate to speak up, when given demands met with nasty and condescending tones smile and say, "I will gladly take up this task and I am appreciative of constructive criticism; however I don't appreciate being spoken to in that way. It's not professional nor is it conducive to the work that needs to be done. Let them know, "I will not take your shit!" but in an Olivia Pope kind of way-oh, and say it withca' chest too!

AS fed up as you may get with your job, don't let it effect your work ethic. You wan't to be so bomb at your job, so that when you finally tell them to kick rocks they feel every bit of it and are at a loss as to how they'll move on without your presence. (Shout out to mama for that piece of advice)

Lastly, never let 'em see you sweat. Prove every negative preconception, every doubter, every hater wrong and do so with a smile. "Oh, you don't think I can do this? Well, I can and I'll make it look effortless." Even after you give that ingrate of a boyfriend/girlfriend or shitty friend the boot; move on with a smile because you've allowed space in your life for more positive things.

Whether it's work, a relationship, friendship, etc. demand respect. Know your worth and know that no matter what preconceptions people have of you, how negatively they treat you, what negative things they say about you; that in no way defines your worth and whatever opportunities or happiness they claim they can bring you; you don't need them. Don't be afraid of letting go of people or walking away from opportunites and telling the "haters" to kiss your ass-oops, I actually typed it lol and it felt good. One more time-tell the "haters" to kiss your ass!

With or without the negativity, your destiny is written don't continue to stay in spaces where you are not valued; all you need is you, your faith and maybe some chap-stick to hand to people before they pucker up to those rosy cheeks!

I don't care how lonely you may feel, how badly you think you need an opportunity; hold on to your dignity.

Below are a few photos I took after I gave someone my lovely lady lumps to kiss for displaying an absence of respect and knowledge of who tf I am and as you can see, I was happy as hell after doing it. Enjoy!

​​SMLXL