Note To Self: 1:23 AM- This The Realest Ish I Ever Wrote

Remember the many nights you spent, praying to God in your bed? Remember when at times you didn't feel like he was hearing you clearly, so you'd unclasp your hands, you said eff bended knees, I gotta talk to you bruh. You would talk to God, ask him questions, tell him what you wanted out of life, bargain with him and ask him why, even though you're not supposed to question him-- you would. Do you remember telling him all you've dreamed of, as if he didn't already know? And telling him to give you signs, let you know what he wanted you to do, who and what was hindering you...do you remember that? Do you remember telling him, "anything you need me to do, any obstacles in my way, Lord just show me, so I can remove them and become the person you've destined me to be?" Do you remember saying prayers for the people you love, asking God to do what ever was necessary for them too, to live to their full potential and be happy?

So, now that I've refreshed your memory, why are questioning him for removing certain things or people out of your life? When you moved from Atlanta to New York, for some reason it was so easy for you to grasp that if you wanted to LEAP you'd have to be removed from your comfort zone; so why is it so hard for you to accept that if you want to become the person God has written you to become, you must remove yourself from people that aren't helping you to get there?

Spoiler Alert: Things in New York are getting better. You're one step closer to the career you've always dreamed of and that prayer you sent up, where you asked God to let just ONE person see your potential, your passion and your hunger and give you a chance, that prayer was answered. You begged, borrowed and practically stole to be able to survive up until this point, but it got better and much like that prayer that was answered, even though you went through struggles to see the glory, this one will be answered too. Don't tell God you're willing to do and give up ANYTHING to receive your blessing and question him when he puts your prayer to work. Let it go, so you can glow boo.

It's now 1:35 AM and for the past few weeks, you wanted to avoid getting this off your chest, but damn, that felt good. Love you Mani and I always will, no matter what.

P.S. Trina's 'Da Baddest B**ch has become your theme song, I'm loving it, God made Trina (Thank you Lord), so don't let nobody tell you you can't bump Trina and still be God fearing. PRAISE HIM